The Etiquette of Humor IV

The Etiquette of Humor

IV. HOW NOT TO CONVERSE

The Bragger

There’s a big difference between sharing our accomplishments and those of our loved ones with close family members, and extolling their virtues to anyone we happen to meet. Close friends and family members allow us to brag a little because they are just as pleased as we are about positive, successful outcomes. Notwithstanding, it is those closest to us who witness to the internal fortitude, hard work, and heart that goes into such matters in the first place. In this respect, light bragging is less about singing our own praises as it is about celebrating life’s successes along the pathway of our shared journey.

Others are not as interested in our successes. Even when we’re bursting with pride, the good-humored conversationalist does not go on and on about what a wonderful job they did, or how bright their child is. Many recognize this due to past social blunders where they held someone uncomfortably captive with their good news story, and try to curtail it with self-deprecating humor. Rather than stoop to lower our self in the eyes of others, and most importantly, in our own eyes, the eyes with which are intended to navigate our success in life, a little lighthearted humor can go a long way. The subtlety of a photograph with a child wearing spectacles and reading a hardbound book delivers the same “kids are smart” punch line without anyone getting hit in along the way.

In the same respect, when the conversational captive of a braggart, comment politely about their remarks and try to redirect the conversation. Abruptly changing the subject can leave a proud parent feeling socially awkward for having shared their good news. As such, responding to another’s good fortune with a good-humored response can both acknowledge the other person’s pride while simultaneously and smoothly opening the pathway for more general conversation that can be shared in equal terms. Sociability is all about navigating the nuances of equality.